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How "The General" Earned His Title

A frequent character in Tales of Whoa, the General didn't just get his nickname randomly. There are well-planned reasons why he is called his given name (Chris) less and less. Here's my list of reasons why he's The General.

He rides a Harley like a general, Road King to be exact, with all the chrome one requires to enter and win a "Show and Shine."

He looks like a general with upper arms the size of an average woman's thigh. He also sports a very round, shaved head (self-imposed).

He has tattoos like a general. One arm displays a pig riding a motorcycle. A chain of hot chili peppers circles the other.

He speaks like a general, using a robust voice full of expletives.

He leads like a general and is most always riding up at the front of the pack.

He cooks like a general, barbecuing slabs of ribs, hunks of beef, entire pigs (little seafood in sight).

The general, in his spare time enters BBQ cook-offs under the name "Hog Tail's BBQ Team " (the logo tattooed on his arm).

He uses a smoker the size of Texas! Oh, he had it built in Texas and tows it behind his large SUV.

He eats like a general, demolishing fire hot chicken wings with a collection of hot sauces that could put down a small horse.

He drinks like a general. Appleton Rum is his drink of choice and at times he doesn't handle it well. He then falls asleep (not exactly like a general.)

However, he snores like a general. He can be, and has been, heard through walls.

He sits in his hot tub looking just like a general.

Now that you have a picture in your head, let me tell you the gentler side of Chris, the General.

This is a man who is always extremely available and helpful.

He loves cooking and is frequently exploited for it. He also excels at impromptu meals that continually amaze and delight his guests.

He plans group motorcycle trips to the smallest detail ensuring that all, particularly the women, are happy.

He never gets lost! (Therefore, neither does he need to ask for directions.)

He has been married to the same woman for 25 years and has raised three children.

He owns his own business and is often logging in hours that would kill the rest of us.

He plays old-timer hockey and throws the best tail-gate parties after the games (or so I'm told).

He is involved with local charities, raising funds and promoting causes.

This is the guy we all call "the general" a friend, husband, father, businessman, chef, hockey player, and of course, a motorcyclist.

You meet the nicest people on motorcycles!