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Life, Love, Not Easy or Fair

Life is not fair.

How much do you believe this? I am recently hearing it a lot from people who I thought had achieved whatever they wanted in their life. But when you go more into their lives, you see how much they have to say.

It was a beautiful saying in a movie Mary and the King that “when a woman who has a lot to say, says nothing, her silence is deafening”. I thought about it a lot and now I know how I can apply this to many people who never complain about anything. Who knows how much they keep in their chest?

I have a friend. She and her husband are always happy, enjoying every moment, and seem to have no problem whatsoever. “Lucky” is the perfect word to describe them. New immigrants who could find their ideal job in a very short time. No health problems. No family crisis. And it is just like whatever they touch turns to gold for them. Even weather is cooperating with their plans. Can you believe it? Everyone, friends, relatives, neighbors, all wish they had same life as this couple’s.

I saw her months ago; she was fine, smiling as usual, positive, and energetic. Then we talked about her job, and how everything is going for her. She turned her head and looked far, she said nothing but a sigh. I asked her what was up. She said, she is in love. We both laughed, we were always in love, both of us are romantic girls. So what else, I asked. Really, I am in love, she said. And this time is totally different. The one that I always dreamed of is now there, so real, so alive.

Then she said,”You know what, life is not fair. His wife is not romantic and although they share everything, and have been living together for many years, that piece of his heart which plays a big role in his life, has not been touched by her, the same for me. I love my husband, he is a wonderful guy, other girls may dream of him, but he never noticed the hidden part of my heart. He never loved me the way I feel loved by this guy.”

The she continued, “And there seems to be no way out of it, he is not going to leave his family, and I am not leaving my husband. We shall go on just like this and pretend nothing is wrong. We are not selfish; we cannot hurt our families. We also cannot ignore the love we share. We are living with our families, but we think about each other all the time. And this is not fair.”

She talked and talked, and I listened, and tried to convince myself that there is always a way out, there is always a way to make everything fair. I am a Libra and this is my role to make everything fair. I used many skills I gained through a counseling program, that I was taking at that time, and also added some theories and thoughts, experiences and stories that I had heard from people or read in books. I tried lots of self-help strategies, logics, even Homeopathic remedies, to help her be satisfied. I did my best to convince her and me, that there should be a way to make life fair. But I couldn’t. I admit, I could not do that. It affects all my beliefs for life, for humanity, for love and for the power of thought. I always believed in the power of thought and that you can do whatever you want to. But how can you do something that you want to, and you don’t want to because of some circumstances, at the same time.

Time passed, I did not see her for two to three months. She was busy at work. I was busy studying and working so I called her the other day. She was pregnant. She found a way out according to her. Love for her baby can replace the love she had for the guy. She was calm, sounded very confident, her husband was so happy, and she was happy, too. No complaint whatsoever, not even a single word about her lover. I hung up, I was really happy for them, then I suddenly remembered.

”When a woman who has a lot to say, says nothing, her silence is deafening.”

I still do not know what to believe, but I know one thing, I really want my life to be fair.