PARENT

Fear Meets Disinterest in the Playground

It was a fine sunny morning, as we set out for the playground. The kids were eager to be out of the apartment and we were looking forward to getting some fresh air and exercise. Little did I know, that this day, would be a day that would forever be etched into my memory.

My story throws some doubt over humanity (at least the humanity in my neighbourhood) but also does renew one's faith in humanity, as well as possibly a higher power. If you were to look up in the dictionary for the definition of the mother who keeps the most vigilant an eye on her children, you would see my name. My kids are never away from me for more than a few seconds at a time. Hence this experience was such a shock for me and I am sure will remain the single most terrifying moment in my years of being a mother.

I was standing with my son Samuel by the slides at the playground and I turned my head for about 10 seconds to look behind me to keep an eye on my daughter who was playing in the sand pit. I was used to the usual challenge of needing to have eyes in the back of my head, even more so now, as being 2 and a half, Samuel was still in the "running away" phase of his development.

I turned my head back to Samuel to find him gone! At first I thought that he was just probably behind the slides, out of my line of vision, so I walked around the slides calling his name. There was no response or sign of him. My heartbeat started to accelerate. I walked around calling his name and then broke into a run yelling his name, over and over, looking everywhere, behind every bush and tree and all over the area where he had disappeared. He was gone, absolutely gone, with no trace of him!

As each fruitless minute passed, my panic increased and at this point, I started to hyperventilate, every cell in my body went into high alert and adrenaline starting pumping through my body at maximum speed. I felt very weak and I was breathing so hard, I thought I was in danger of fainting, but this was a luxury I didn't have. I clutched my daughter close to me and with her in tow, carried on looking and shouting his name.

The human brain is such, that in this kind of situation, you think the worst: Abduction, being injured by a car in the nearby road, even coyote attack (which is unlikely but apparently there are quite a few coyotes in urban parks and there have been a few attacks in the past). In the midst of my panic, I had a sudden flashback to a portion of a DVD that I saw on abduction prevention, they said the first thing to do is to make it public and ask for help.

So I stood in the middle of this huge playground and shouted for help to find my little boy, all the while describing what he was wearing and how old he was. Alarmingly, 95% of the people at the playground merely turned their heads away and continued their conversations, blatantly ignoring me. Fortunately, the remaining 5% helped. One was a mother and two day-care workers who were there with their groups of children. The daycare workers immediately spread out and started looking for Samuel, all the while I was running around calling his name, with a note of hysteria in my voice ever rising and the terror in my chest had, by now, reached a fevered pitch.

The minutes passed very slowly, now climbing to 10 minutes, which seemed like an eternity, knowing that with each passing minute, the chances of finding him were dwindling. Everything slowed down, I felt like I was moving through molasses, my limbs felt heavy with every step and everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. My surroundings started to take on a tinge of the surreal and by now my heart was beating a mile a minute and the rushing sound in my ears now sounded like a thundering waterfall. Through my haze of shock and fear, in the distance, I saw one of the daycare workers wildly gesticulating to me and there safely in her arms, with a puzzled look on his face, was my son Samuel!

I fell to my knees, as my legs had by now turned to jelly. I enveloped him into my arms, with such force that it winded both of us. By now, I was crying and sobbing, all sense of public behavioural decorum or composure forgotten. I just couldn't believe my good fortune in someone having found him. The feeling of overwhelming fear that had permeated every fibre of my being, was now being overshadowed by the incredible sense of indescribable relief that I felt.

He was found, way on the other side of the playground, beyond the boundary of safety, going into the trees in search of squirrels. I shudder to think how I would have found him if it weren't for the help that I received, as I was totally on the other side of the playground. It is a very large playground and I was looking mostly in the vicinity of where he had disappeared, so I was looking in the wrong section of the playground. By the time I would have thought to look on the east side, who knows where he would have been or what might have happened to him.

Needless to say, I am now oversensitized by this experience. It has left an indelible mark in my heart and mind. Now I literally do not take my eyes off either of my children for a second. What was sobering and unsettling about this whole trauma, however, was the uncaring and apathetic attitude from most of the people at the playground. They did not even miss a beat in their conversations to help me, or they stared blankly at me and then consciously turned their backs.

This I feel, is a sad commentary on not only the people in my neighbourhood but also on our general society. Many people have become so desensitized to another person's plight, even when an innocent child is involved, that they are not willing to move an inch to help. Any feelings of despondency however, are countered by the fact that 3 wonderful people tried to help me. One in particular was successful and found my child as a result, saving him from an uncertain fate.

For this, I say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to that daycare worker who unfortunately, whose name or name of the daycare I did not get. I will be forever to grateful to you. You renewed my faith in humanity and made me realize, that in a sea of uncaring faces, you helped me and saved my child!

Whoever you are, thank you!