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A fresh look at running a familyby: Gwen Pawlikowski
The Big Shuffle by Laura Pedersen features the dramatic change that explodes into an 18-year-old’s life when her father dies and her mother collapses into mental illness. Hallie, the main character in this work of fiction becomes the candidate to take care of her young brothers and sisters. All eight of them. Actually, that’s not all. There’s an older brother but he’s fairly self-sufficient and has a minor role. The others range in age from teens to 2-month-old infants. Hallie becomes instant parent/caregiver to a gigantic troupe o’ kids. The main reason I liked this book was the respect with which the writer handles the notion of (so-called) “women’s work.” Pedersen writes clearly and in detail about the enormous amount of effort required in the care of kids, particularly that many. Unlike so many people that assume mothers don’t do anything much, she unravels the daily grind that Hallie assumes. Screaming infants create “the cacaphony of the twins howling in stereo” (p. 117). The daily problem of laundry and no clean clothes for kids to wear to school. Injuries. Meals. Packed lunches. Dispute resolution. Poor Hallie quickly becomes exhausted. She is even too tired to have sex with her boyfriend, who she hasn’t seen in weeks. Yes, you nod, you are familiar with the loss of libido that comes with exhaustion. Pedersen writes about the lifestyle of many moms, but it is surprisingly fresh to read about it through the experience of an 18-year-old character, who didn’t sign up for it. Hallie’s an interesting character with good lines and with whom mothers can sympathize. Most of us don’t have eight kids, but there’s ample work with smaller numbers too. Plus worries about the mortgage. Plus writing thank-you notes for flowers sent to her dad’s funeral. Following social conventions requires a lot of work and time. It seems sad and hard for an 18-year-old. The unspoken message is how hard it must have been for her mother, too. So much so that the death of her husband pushed her into mental collapse. As the weeks and months pass, Hallie gains increasing perspective and she manages to maintain her sense of humour. “When spring break ends, life returns to being measured not in days or months but by the number of lunches packed and spoonfuls of strained squash with rice launched into the mouths of twins. Sometimes between loads of laundry and vacuuming Cheerios out of the rug, I’ll interview myself with the furniture wand” (p. 208). Yes, the Cheerios in the carpet. I remember it well. I am past the cereal-throughout-the-house phase, but Pedersen brought me back to those oaty days. This gem reflects more of my current situation, “...every time one of the kids walks out the door he or she needs money for something – activity fees, uniforms, field trips – or some type of baked good for the never-ending stream of fundraisers and class parties,” (p. 209). Yes, Hallie. I know. I know. I feel your pain. How many cupcakes can really be consumed by North American children in the name of raising cash? It’s a challenge to meet the continual requests and never-ending needs. Hallie, fortunately, has a strong support network, unlike many real life mothers who often go it alone without the aid of neighbors, grandparents or others. Her friend, Bernard, solves many of her dilemmas and adds snappy lines indicating his incisive sense of humour. I laughed out loud occasionally during this book. The flamboyant antique dealer’s leadership of a Girl Guide group offers a nice sub-sub plot. He instructs his class in etiquette and good taste. Ultimately, he’s probably the most comfortable of all the characters in a traditional mom role. The Big Shuffle is the third book in a series about Hallie. It shows her life turned into chaos, priorities shifted and re-ordered like cards in a deck. What she walks into is the life of an overburdened mother. Seeing this life through the eyes of an 18-year-old cast offers a new filter on how we regard mother work. |
