REVIEWS

New book offers training for in-law management

I Heart My In-Laws: Falling in Love With His Family–One Passive-Aggressive, Over-Indulgent, Grandkid-Craving, Streisand-Loving, Bible-Thumping In-Law at a Time by: Dina Koutas Poch Owl Books/an imprint of Henry Holt and Company, July 2007 ISBN: 0-8050-8279-4

If you are seriously involved in a relationship, one of the most difficult things, you may be asked to do is to meet your partner's family. Most of us can manage this experience with flying colors. For the smaller percentage of us who cannot, Dina Koutas Poch's I Heart My In-Laws is an absolute necessity to read.

At the initial meeting, good observation skills are an excellent attribute. But, if you are so anxiety-ridden that observing is not going to happen and the afternoon or evening remains a blur in your memory, don't count on your partner's support. As Poch says "...{they} are sweet but utterly useless." They see the situation from a totally different point of view.

Don't sit at the dinner table with a Mona Lisa smile either. The sum of Dina Poch's advice will stand you in good stead:

1. Remember you will be questioned.
2. Watch your appearance. Be comfortable but get someone else to see what you intend to wear.
3. First impressions do count. Try to remember peoples' names.
4. Show that you love and respect family members.

I particularly liked the "Sizing Up Your In-Laws Quiz." Then, with what Dina Poch calls "mounting insight," read the "7 Personalities of In-Laws."

Chapter 4: Location, location, location or where you live affects your social calender and therapy bills will take your mind into areas where it never thought to go. This observant writer thinks of every nuance, gesture, and behavior. Chapter 7: "For better, for worse and forever" covers the actual wedding experience. Chapter 8: Sharing Your Bundle of Joy offers great advice for getting through anxiety-ridden times.

With a slightly jaundiced eye, a grain of salt and a finely-honed wit, Poch leads us through potential scenarios. There are no victors in these scrimmages. Perhaps, the peace that evolves from an understanding of human nature, our in-laws and life is enough.